Gold Medals for Procrastination!
It has taken me 6 hours and 15 minutes to get on with writing this article. I now have about 10 minutes left (after spending about 15 min choosing a picture) before I have to go out. I was up at 5:45am ……..
What have I been doing?
Well I’ve ordered a bed from Ikea, changed a direct debit (navigating the website took ages!), written a thank you note and several birthday cards – May is a busy month. Added to my step and exercise count by walking to the local PO to buy stamps, posted a card. Looked into travelling to Edinburgh by both train and plane.
Opened 2 apps to increase my chances of winning prizes plus Worldle, Wordle and two other NYT daily games. Text a couple of friends, sanded down and oiled 3 doors, eaten brunch, watered the seedlings and removed a resident snail from the greenhouse. Arranged to meet some friends on Friday.
Why has this happened even though I have an impending deadline for this newsletter?
I am simultaneously struggling with and trying to work through being brave enough to start a business around coaching. This will involve 121 coaching, group coaching/teaching and writing. Even admitting this feels scary; writing this newsletter is a part of the business and therefore sets my anxiety off. I am trying to step back and watch what is happening to get some space between myself and my thoughts and at the same time put into place things that help keep me on an even keel.
Which brings me to the heart of the matter which is our thoughts are fundamentally stories we tell ourselves; those thoughts create emotions/feelings or bodily sensations these then lead to action or inaction. We tend to have old thought patterns which were laid down in childhood which will arise when we try something out of our comfort zone. Thoughts like I am not good enough, I don’t deserve, Who do I think I am? Which can lead to feelings like shame, guilt, sadness and lead to actions like over eating, doom scrolling, perfectionism, giving up.
Rinse and repeat
Why does this happen? fundamentally it’s the way our brains function.
1. The brain’s job is to keep us safe – but not necessarily thrive.
2. The brain is a hungry organ and wants to conserve energy and change takes energy.
3. Nerves that fire together wire together, the more you think a certain thought the more likely it is that it will become the dominant or overriding thought.
However despite the fact that our brains are at the base of this dilemma there is this amazing thing called Neuroplasticity. We have agency over our thoughts and feelings and it IS possible to build new neural pathways and think different thoughts. When we start to build strong new neural pathways the old ones tend to weaken. Just like going to the gym regularly strengthens your muscles and improves your health.
When we develop new thought patterns we feel different emotions and are motivated towards different actions and create new outcomes.
Seeing results from going to the gym takes time and repetition.
It takes time and repeated attempts to catch yourself in that moment just before you look at social media or start playing games on your phone, or deciding that you need to clear out your cupboards (again) and asking yourself is there anything I am avoiding here? Is there something I really need to do that feels a bit uncomfortable?
You do have choice, it’s about catching the moment when you start heading down the procrastination path and wondering why?
There is no shame or blame in these behaviours we all do it to some degree so kindness and compassion are required when we are trying to change or when something doesn’t quite go to plan. Everything teaches you something and that’s all to the good.
I am finding it very interesting to understand the theory and watch it play out in my own actions. I have also had some great help from fellow coaches and good friends which makes all the difference.
So notice if you are procrastinating then very gently ask yourself “Is there something I am avoiding here?” It is also very helpful to write down what the worry is, it can really help you get a bit of space between you and the thoughts which can help change your actions and results.