Many ways to slice the Pie
I am often struck by the fact that many theories that superficially look different are actually saying the same thing.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who has just finished a course called Internal Family Systems. This is a way of looking at different parts of yourself, can be your emotions or the worrier/critical voice/procrastinator in you (means nothing to me……if only that were true!). Seeing how they interact to either support you or give you a hard time. She said that fundamentally there is a part of us that absolutely knows what we want or need. She described it like the sun inside us but these other parts can be like clouds over the sun that can obscure our views or belief in ourselves.
In the Life Coaching course that she and I have both done humans are described as having an essential and social self. The essential self is the really true you that knows what it wants. The social self whilst being important is a bit more people pleasing. So when aged 5 you announce to your parents that you want to be an acrobat, they are likely to say “well that sounds lovely dear, but maybe think about accountancy”. Depending on your inner conviction you may abandon your acrobatic plans and work towards pleasing your parents… The social self can obscure the essential self’s wants and needs. But those wants and needs are always still there.
When I had my school careers advice I said I wanted to study medicine. To be told that ‘it’s very difficult, perhaps you could think about being a librarian”
Really? Was there a librarian shortage?
Fortunately (because of a random meeting with an osteopathic student in a nightclub) I happened on Osteopathy, lucky me. I definitely never pursued being a librarian (not that it isn’t a great career – just not me!).
Another thing that looks different externally is Buddhism they talk about when you are having a bad time it is like the clouds obscuring the sun. The advice is non attachment let it flow through you like a weather system; and eventually the sun will come out again. The more you analyse and wonder why the more you stick the problem to yourself. Astrology and tarot are also ways of trying to understand ourselves and find what is is we want. They use planets or cards to describe different human emotions.
One of the great fathers of psychoanalysis Carl Jung talked about individuation. This is the process of bringing into consciousness the parts of ourselves we are unaware of and helping us to become the most fully alive we can be.
It makes me think that we are all the same in many ways; different philosophies/coaching/counselling systems may offer varied paths but ultimately it’s all describing the same thing.
I don’t see this as a problem because although we all have the same fundamental building blocks, wants and needs – we are all different. We need different paths towards the goal of living our best lives.
The other part of this is to recognise and celebrate how we are alike, not how we differ from each other.