How many of you have woken in the night and been gripped by worries and fears?
Anything from missing a flight, the state of the stock market or whether you’ll be fit for anything tomorrow after a poor nights sleep. When you have these moments do you generally fret about the same things? These kind of fears can often be around health or money, but not exclusively. The current state of the world is enough to give us all a lot to fret about.
In the wee small hours do you envision bankruptcy; dementia, a collapse of the world order?
Meet your inner Lizard.
This is the reptilian part of your brain that is perpetually on the alert for the merest whisper of danger to yourself. It’s not totally nocturnal as it can visit you at anytime of day. But I think it’s most powerful at night when everything is quiet and dark and you have nothing to distract yourself with – definitely don’t start scrolling on your phone at this point – unless of course you want to fuel the fire! The odd thing is that at that precise moment in the middle of the night you are warm safe and comfortable. But your lizard is on a mission to scare you silly, it will present all sorts of alarming scenario’s which get bigger and more terrifying every moment. You can literally end up feeling in a state of paralysis. Which is one of the ways we feel stress fright/fight/freeze/faint or flop. There is also frolic – but we won’t go there today! Most people know this feeling; even billionaires who despite having more money that they’ll ever need can feel the urge to have a few more millions in the bank to feel ‘safe’
So what can you do to help you calm down?
Step one: Recognise the scenario, try to visualise your lizard. I thought the lizard in the picture today looked a bit judgemental which says something about my lizard. Get quite detailed, colour, size does it have one of those fancy frills around its neck that pops up when it’s on a mission? Give your lizard a name, mine is Walter. It can help to have a picture of your lizard somewhere.
Step 2: When he/she pops up acknowledge him/her, say hello and recognise what is going on here. It’s a manifestation of a reactive possibly over stimulated nervous system.
Step 3: Take note of where you are and do a sensory check in; what can I see/hear/touch/taste/smell. In this precise moment am I ok? The chances are at this precise moment all is well.
Step 4: You may need to get up if you are in bed, change the scenario, get a soothing drink, preferably not alcohol! Don’t engage with any screens, walk about look at something beautiful, wrap yourself in a blanket, appreciate the quiet. Calm yourself down – remember what you’d do with a squalling baby in the middle of the night.
Step 5: Acknowledge your lizard, tell it that all is well and it can go back to sleep. You may have to do this a few times. I have had lizard attacks that can continue for a few days. Walter wakes up and has a little rampage every now and then. It’s probably that I am a bit under the weather or have to much on. I say hello and try to carry on, rather than sit about wringing my hands; Walter can do that! Eventually he hibernates again.
Step 6: You eventually begin to recognise the quality and tone of the thoughts and start to see them for what they are. Thoughts are stories we are telling ourselves. Yes, something has triggered us but most of the stories we tell ourselves aren’t true, they are just ways to try to understand the world around us and our response to events.
Calm, self care and a sense of humour are required here.
The more you can stand back and see what is happening the better, witness your thoughts, instead of getting caught up in the maelstrom be a curious onlooker. From that calm human place you’ll be able to see what is your next best step and see your lizard for what it is.
p.s. If Lizards don’t do it for you think about Marvin, the Paranoid Android from the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.